The Fall
1 After God had formed Eve from Adam’s rib, and made His covenant with them, Adam took Eve on a tour of the Garden. 2 And he showed her all the beasts of the earth, and all the fowls of the air, and all the green herbs and the trees that beareth fruit, each according to their kind. 3 And he taught her the names such as he had given to each living thing.
4 And the woman said to Adam: Hast thou named all the beasts of the earth?
5 And Adam answered her: I have named all the beasts of the earth I have encountered, and should there be more as yet unknown to me, I shall name these as well.
6 And the woman asked: Hast thou named all the fowls of the air?
7 And Adam answered her: I have named all the fowls of the air whose calls I have heard, and whose nests I have seen. And should there be more as yet unknown to me, I shall name these as well.
8 At that moment, a small bird alighted on a branch above them. And the woman asked: What is the name of that bird?
9 Adam answered her: It is the dove.
10 Another bird alighted on a branch beside the dove. And again the woman asked: What is the name of that bird?
11 Adam answered her: It is the sparrow.
12 Yet another bird alighted on a nearby branch, beside the sparrow. Once more the woman asked: What is the name of that bird?
13 Adam answered her: I have never seen such a bird before, and must bestow a new name upon it.
14 Adam looked at the bird, which perched long enough for him to observe all its features. And Adam said: This bird reminds me of you, woman, for its wings are as black as thy hair, its breast as white and full as thine, its song as sweet as thy voice, and its eyes as bright and innocent as thine. 15 And Adam named the new bird Hava, after his wife.
16 Many days hereafter did Adam and Eve walk hand in hand through the Garden. 17 And Adam taught the woman all the green herbs, and the fruits of the trees which were good for eating, and those which were not; and he taught her the names of the beasts and the creeping things; and many fishes of the sea, such as were caught in his weirs. 18 And Adam was grateful to the woman, and loved her, for she was a gift unto him, the flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone.
19 But in the dark of the woods, Satan brooded, for the devil had grown jealous of man, and the favor in which God held him. 20 The envy of the devil spread to others of the angels as well, and the sons of God grew restless in their discontent. 21 And so Satan entered the world, and drew his plans against the man and the woman.
22 In the wilderness roamed Lilith, the witch whom Adam had loved before Eve, who had been cast out of the Garden for her vanity and envy of the man. 23 Her eyes were alluring as desert springs, her hair like golden silk, and every word to roll off her sweet tongue was venomous deceit. She had charmed Adam, and wooed him, and nearly made of him her slave. 24 When at last the Lord God came unto her to address her wrongdoings, she fled from His sight.
25 Satan sought out Lilith, and conspired with her.
26 Satan whispered: The Creator has become obsessed with the man and the woman; He has placed them above all else, and made them masters even of the angels who are their betters. Let us curse them both, and make slaves of them, as is their just place.
27 Lilith was most pleased by the devil’s proposal. 28 The witch laughed and said: Let me tempt the man, he who scorned me in favor of a weaker beauty. Let me cast round his heart just one golden hair, as noose to strangle him, and lure him away from his dear little Eve.
29 Satan replied: Nay, for the woman was made to complete the man, such as you were unable. She rescued him from his solitude, and no force, no mortal temptation, can break him from her side. 30 But the woman is newly made, and pure as a fawn. It is she we must tempt, for she is is his world entire; whatsoever she doeth, the man will surely follow, for his love is unbreakable.
31 And Lilith said to Satan: Then let me go to the woman, and incite jealousy and bitterness in her heart. All I need do is tell her of my past relations with Adam, for she knows not yet of my existence, and envy will consume her.
32 Satan replied: It is futile to turn the man and the woman against each other, for they will still have the favor of the Lord, who will work to right their disagreements. 33 We must turn them against the Lord Himself; we must turn them so thoroughly against Him that He turns His back upon them in shame. Thus shall we have victory. 34 And if you, fair Lilith, assist me, I shall make thee my Queen, and thy hunger for the flesh shall never go unsatisfied, and thy thirst for inflicting misery upon men shall always be slaked.
35 And Lilith agreed to Satan’s plan, and the deadly covenant was forged.
36 Satan took the form of a serpent, the most cunning of beasts, and slithered into the Garden one day when Eve was walking alone. And he said to the woman: Why hath God commanded you, that you should not eat of every tree in the Garden?
37 Eve answered him, saying: Of the fruit of all the trees in the Garden we do eat, excepting the fruits of the two trees in the midst of the Garden. 38 God hath commanded we should not eat, nor even touch, the fruit of these trees, lest we die.
39 And the Serpent said to the woman: No, you shall not die. 40 For God doth know that in what day soever you shall eat thereof, your eyes shall be opened, and you shall be as Gods, knowing good and evil.
41 Eve did not believe the Serpent, and trusted in the Word of God. Eve said: Why should God speak lies to me?
42 The Serpent replied: God is jealous of His powers, and dreads to share them with you, who could be His equal. Come, and merely look upon the fruit, and see that it is good to eat, and fair to the eyes, and delightful to behold.
43 Eve did follow the Serpent through the Garden, and beheld the fruits of all the trees from which she was allowed to eat, and knew already that they were delicious. 44 But curiosity of the forbidden fruit taunted her, and she went obligingly with the Serpent to look upon it.
45 The tree of knowledge of good and evil grew in the midst of the garden. The Serpent slithered up its trunk, unafraid of the divine decree that none should even touch of it. 46 And Eve was frightened, but took courage from the Serpent’s lack of fear, and approached the tree as near as she dared.
47 Come closer, said the Serpent.
48 I am as close as I wish to be, replied Eve.
49 The Serpent said: Surely thou canst not see the fruit of the tree from such a distance? Come closer, fair Eve, and gaze upon the finest fruit in all the Garden.
50 And Eve, seeing the Serpent’s confidence, swallowed her trepidation and took a step forward.
51 Closer, closer, said the Serpent.
52 Eve took another step, and was close enough to touch the tree, though she dared not. 53 And Eve gazed upon the fruit, and saw that it was indeed good to eat, and fair to the eyes, and delightful to behold.
54 The Serpent said: Dost thou wish to taste of the fruit?
55 Eve hesitated, and said: No, for the Lord God forbade it.
56 But Eve gazed upon the fruit, and longed to taste of it. 57 And, fearing punishment from God, Eve fled from the sight of the tree, and the Serpent. 58 But the cunning Serpent despaired not, for he knew his seed had been planted.
59 Eve returned unto Adam, and embraced him, and spoke not to him of her encounter with the Serpent. 60 She kept their meeting secret, and brooded upon it for many days, whenever she walked with Adam through the Garden. 61 And for many nights Eve was tormented by what the Serpent had told her. 62 She tossed and turned thinking of the fruit, and when she finally slept she saw the fruit in her dreams. It whispered to her; the ripe red husk dappled with dew, dangling tantalizingly from its stem.
63 Finally Eve could bear it no longer. In the early morning, before Adam awoke, she crept toward the tree of knowledge of good and evil. 64 She stared at the tree for a long time, at its susurrating leaves and its plump red fruit. 65 Then she closed her eyes and reached out her hand, and brushed her fingertips against the fruit. 66 She gasped, wondering if she would die, but she died naught.
67 Thus emboldened, Eve opened her eyes and again touched the husk of the fruit, this time with her whole hand. She felt it in her palm, and saw that it was indeed fair to the eyes, and delightful to behold. 68 A God, she thought, A God she could be, with the knowledge and power to judge for herself that which is good and evil. All she need do was take one little bite.
69 The woman broke the fruit from the branch with a loud, wooden snap.
70 Eve held the fruit in her palms, close to her chest, in fear that God would punish her for disobeying Him. She ducked her head low and bit into the fruit.
71 And she knew the Serpent had spoken true- it was good to eat. And her eyes were opened.
72 But then Eve knew the Serpent had not spoken the whole truth, for she felt herself changed. 73 The sweet taste of the fruit turned bitter going down her throat. 74 Dizzily, she looked around the garden and saw the trees and the beasts and the sky itself through new eyes, as if she were lit from within. 75 And though this new light burned brightly within her, she felt too the absence of another, fiercer light, as though the threads of her soul had been untethered, and reattached wrongly. 76 The new light was pleasing to her, but the absence of the old was not, and the woman felt sad and alone, and knew not why. 77 But she ignored her sorrow, and thought only of how powerful she had become, and embraced her new power. A God, could she be?
78 After Eve had bitten the fruit, the Serpent descended from the tree to meet her.
79 The woman looked at the Serpent and said: I feel strange.
80 The Serpent said: Now you are as a God, knowing of good and evil. 81 But will you not share this gift with thy husband?
82 Eve replied: Will God punish us for disobeying Him?
83 The Serpent said: Nay, you will not be punished. Go now to the man, and give him the fruit to eat as well, and together you will be as Gods.
84 Eve returned to Adam with the bitten fruit in hand.
85 Adam said: What yonder fruit is in thy hand, Eve?
86 Eve replied: It is fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
87 Adam’s terror was great upon hearing her say this. He asked: Eve, why hast thou done this?
88 Eve replied: The Serpent told me the fruit of the tree was good to eat, and fair to the eyes, and delightful to behold.
89 Adam replied: But God hast warned us not to eat of it, lest we die.
90 Eve replied: But I have eaten of the fruit, and have died not. 91 And my eyes have been opened, and I have become like God. It is only a fruit, Adam, like any other in the Garden- there is no reason why it should be wrong to eat of it.
92 Eve held out the bitten fruit to Adam as proof of her words. 93 And Adam did see that the fruit was good for eating, and fair to the eyes, and delightful to behold. 94 He wondered if perhaps the Serpent had been right, and that he would indeed become like God if he ate of the fruit.
95 Yet he remembered what God had commanded him, and the dire warning attached to the fruit. 96 He knew of death. He had seen the lion’s fangs wet with the blood of the oryx; he had seen the eagle’s talons reddened on the hides of fish; he had seen the winged birds who belonged to the air laying broken on the ground after great storms. 97 And he feared greatly for Eve’s life.
98 He wondered if Eve would perhaps die later, should the fruit be poison to her body. 99 And he remembered Lilith too, and how she had fled from the face of God, and the mightiness of his solitude after she had departed, though she had not been a good wife. 100 He remembered how good God had been to him; how He had made him the keeper of the Garden, and given him a wife and then a wife again equal to him, and only gave one command in return. 101 And he thought again that perhaps the Serpent had been right, and he too could be like God.
102 And though Adam’s terror was great, greater still was his terror of losing Eve. 103 The fear of her death hung over him like a dread storm-cloud. 104 Above all, Adam did not wish for Eve to die alone, and so he took the fruit from her, and ate of it.
105 And Adam found that the fruit was good for eating, and most delicious. And his eyes too were opened, and he did not die.
106 And so Adam and Eve again walked through the Garden, seeing it all as if for the first time in their newfound knowledge.
107 Eve saw that the leaves of the trees were good for making clothes, to cover their nakedness, and they thought it righteous to pull down the leaves for such a purpose, for suddenly they were ashamed of their nakedness. 108 And Adam saw that the trunks of the trees were good to build a sturdy home, to shelter them from the wind and the rain, and they thought it righteous to cut down the trees for such a purpose.
109 The shells on the riverbanks no longer were merely good for eating; they could be used for their dyes to make bedizened cloaks of purple and carmine, and the man and the woman thought it righteous to harvest them for such a purpose.
110 The tusks of the great elephants could be whittled into fine instruments and sculptures, and they thought it righteous to kill them to acquire tusks for such a purpose. 111 And gold, Lilith’s shiny gold, could be fashioned into brooches and jewelry of all kinds, and they thought it righteous to turn the earth for such a purpose.
112 Such thoughts did Adam and Eve have as they roamed through the garden, realizing new uses for all the wealth of the Creation they had been made into, and thinking it righteous for them to subdue it in such a manner.
113 Then was the terror of Adam and Eve mighty, and a cold chill ran through them. 114 And they fled from the sight of all, amidst the trees of paradise.
115 For the Lord God had called to Adam and Eve, and said to them: Where art thou?
This is a very engaging retelling! You captured the existential horror of Eve and Adam's temptation and transformation.